How many locutions does it take to get to the center of an illocutionary force pop?

There are, apparently, many ways to skin cats. In a similar vein, there are many ways of saying the same thing, that is to say, to say the same thing in a different more linguistic way, there are many different locutions that have the same illocutionary force. Oh, I see. You're callin' me out, huh? Don't think I can walk the talk, eh? Think I'm just spouting off? Just mouthin' off? Allow me to drop science.

Scenario: Homeboy borrowed your pen and you want it back. You utter shiznit to get it back i.e. perform utterances with the illocutionary force of 'requesting' or 'demanding' with the hope of the perlocutionary windfall of a returned ball point. Word. How many ways can you say it?

1) Hey, can I get my pen back? (ok, pretty direct but not very inventive?)
2) Man, I could really stand to write some things down right now. If only I had some device which could help me accomplish this goal. (Ya, that's a little too indirect, holmes)
3) *gesture with an empty hand back and forth*
4) Bring up different ways of using illocutionary force to get a person's pen back in class (Good - indirect, but clever enough that the person should get the message eventually)